It’s so easy to think about and look for the dress you want to wear every day.

Mixing and matching an outfit depending on the event has been a no-brainer for many women. You want to go out? Easy. You want to meet with friends? Easier. You want to attend an event? Easiest. But you’re the bride-to-be? Uh-oh. Maybe not.

Such was my experience. I never thought I would have a hard time shopping for my own wedding dress. I always thought that if I ever got married, it would be simple- just like my parents’ civil wedding in Baguio City Court. The dress? Something formal, nothing fancy, no flashy designs- just a normal, decent one.

That is, until 2025. I was in Thailand when my K-1 visa got approved, and everything changed. Now, the wedding wouldn’t be in my home country, and it wasn’t likely to be a civil ceremony. What I had originally pictured in my mind was no longer what was unfolding in reality. At first, the idea of shopping for a wedding dress hadn’t really sunk in. I thought it would be as easy as going to Central Ladprao, finding something that suited my body type, my mood, and the occasion. I was complacent for a while.

But as days went by, my feelings about wedding dress shopping began to change. It started to feel more like a task I had to cross off my list. I thought I’d just walk into a boutique, try on a few dresses, and buy one. I was lucky that it was school break and my friend from a nearby province was able to come with me. The first shop we visited was quite far from my apartment, but it was easy to reach by BTS.

When we entered, I tried on three dresses. With each one, I began to feel the weight of what it meant to find the dress. It wasn’t as easy as going to a thrift shop and holding a dress in front of you- not even wearing it!- then deciding if the color or design suits your taste. It was nothing like that at all. It was the exact opposite. You have to wear it, walk in it, pair it with wedding sandals, and have it adjusted- since most of the time, you’re trying something bigger than your actual size!

I couldn’t contain the overwhelming emotions I felt at that moment. I must say I was so blessed to have my friend Leny with me. She had been a bridesmaid before, so she knew what to do. She was the one helping me with everything- carrying the dress, holding it open so I could step into layers of fabric, zipping it up, putting on my sandals, and even placing the veil. These were things I never knew I’d have to go through.

By then, I was exhausted. I didn’t even know if the dress looked okay anymore. I kept asking the shop assistant how much it cost. My thoughts were spinning: Does it fit me? My flight’s next month- can you finish it in time? Is it within the budget? Will it fit in my carry-on luggage when I board the plane? Does it need to be dry-cleaned? I was getting more and more muddle-headed. What I thought would be a piece of cake turned out to be a tough nut to crack. I just wanted to get things done. My only goal that day was simple- to choose a dress, just so I could finally say, “I have a wedding dress.”

Night came, and I had a scheduled call with my then fiancé, who was in the US. He asked about my day and how dress shopping went. I told him that I’d found one but didn’t show him the photo. I added that I’d already informed the boutique I would be choosing the last dress I tried on and that I just needed to confirm a few details with him before giving them the go signal to start making it. He was quiet for a moment, then asked, “Well, how do you feel about the dress? Do you like it?”

I fell silent- not because I didn’t know how to respond, but because I had never asked myself that question. I had spent the whole day thinking about the logistics: the cost, the fitting, how to bring the dress with me when I travel abroad. But I never once asked how I felt when I wore it. That’s when he gave me a piece of advice: “Never fall in love with the first one you see.” He encouraged me to visit another shop, try on a few more dresses, and pay attention to how each one made me feel.

Even with that realization, I was hesitant. I reasoned that I had already found a dress- that I could cross that off my list. But he gently insisted that I look around some more, reminding me that it’s important to feel truly connected to the dress I’ll be wearing on such a special day. To end the discussion, I agreed- though half-jokingly told him, “I’ll look for another dress, not because I need to, but because you want me to.” I was still confident that no matter what happened, I would end up choosing the one I’d tried on earlier that day.

The following morning, we went to Vivaris International Bridal. Honestly, I was still adamant that this trip was just for compliance. We waited for someone to show us their designs, moving from one floor to another, and I have to say- the experience felt different this time. As I tried on the dresses, I began asking myself new questions: Do I like this? Do I feel confident wearing it? How does it feel when I walk? Do I feel like myself in it? My questions became more personal, as if I were building a connection with each dress I tried.

Finally, Leny took photos of me wearing each gown. And maybe I’m biased, but the dresses from the previous shop faded from my memory almost instantly. All I could think about were the ones I had just tried on- and how I felt while wearing each of them.

That day, I finally understood what it truly means to say yes to the dress. It’s not about the price tag, the fabric, or how easy it is to fit into your luggage. It’s not even about how others see you in it. You say yes to the dress when you feel something –  that quiet, certain confidence that whispers, this is me.

It’s the moment when the dress doesn’t just fit your body, but also your heart. When you look in the mirror and see not just a bride, but yourself –  calm, radiant, and ready for what’s ahead. And as I stood there, I realized I wasn’t just saying yes to a gown; I was saying yes to the life waiting for me, to the man who gently reminded me to choose not out of convenience but out of connection.

(Photo taken by Leah K Photography)

I’m grateful to my then-fiancé, now husband, for teaching me to pause, to feel, and to find confidence in what truly matters. Because in the end, saying yes to the dress was never just about finding something to wear –  it was about finding myself, and the love that made me sure.

So when it’s your turn to say yes to the dress, don’t rush it –  listen to your heart, and you’ll know when it’s softly telling you, this is the one.

(Thank you, Vivaris International Bridal, for helping me find the perfect dress that made my wedding day truly unforgettable.)